The Craft of A ‘Scene-It’ to Uncover Interaction Patterns

DC 2025 The Craft of A ‘Scene-It’ to Uncover Interaction Patterns

The “Scene-It” concept in The Doherty approach (Bill’s regular couples therapy approach) is a practical way to identify and communicate interaction patterns to clients during individual conversations in discernment counseling. This method helps clients see their relational dynamics in action, fostering a deeper understanding of their contributions to the problems.

Key Points:

Concept of "Scene-It":

"Scene-It" involves asking clients for specific examples of their interactions, helping therapists map out the interaction pattern and communicate it effectively.
This approach grounds interaction patterns in real-life examples, making them more tangible and understandable for clients.

Executing "Scene It":

Ask for an Example: Begin by asking the client to provide a recent or familiar example of the interaction pattern they are describing.
Map Out the Interaction: Identify the first move, the backdrop, and the setting of the interaction. Follow the sequence of events, asking what each person says and does.
Identify the Dance: Recognize the repetitive pattern or "dance" in the interaction, such as conflict avoidance, blow-ups, or other problematic cycles.
Help Clients See Their Choices: Highlight the points at which clients had agency and could have made different choices, fostering a sense of control and possibility for change.

Example 1: Conflict Avoidance and Blow-Ups:

Scenario: A couple where the wife struggles to communicate her feelings to her husband, leading to a cycle of conflict avoidance and blow-ups.
Interaction Pattern: The wife brings up issues harshly, the husband defends himself and puts it back on her, she shuts down, and they eventually blow up and separate.
Agency Points: The wife could choose not to stuff her feelings, bring them up more gently, and hang in there during the conversation. The husband could choose not to be defensive and put it back on her.

Example 2: Affairs and Family Dynamics:

Scenario: A couple where the husband has had multiple affairs, and the wife has accepted him back each time, leading to a pattern of distance and occasional blow-ups.
Interaction Pattern: The husband feels excluded from the family, and the wife keeps the children close to her by reprimanding him in front of them and discussing his behavior afterward.
Agency Points: The husband could work on his irritability and adolescent behavior of leaving. The wife could choose to have conversations about their dynamics outside of the children's presence and own her contributions to the pattern.

Benefits of "Scene-It":

Complexity and Agency: "Scene-It" helps therapists understand the complexity of the couple's interaction pattern and helps clients see the points at which they had agency.
Treatable Problems: By mapping out the interaction pattern, therapists can help clients see that their problems are treatable and that they have the power to change their dynamics.
Deeper Understanding: "Scene-It" fosters a deeper understanding of the couple's relational dynamics, helping them see their contributions to the problems and the possibility for change.

Conclusion:

The "Scene-It" concept in discernment counseling is a practical way to identify and communicate interaction patterns to clients. By asking for specific examples and mapping out the interaction, therapists can help clients see their relational dynamics in action, fostering a deeper understanding of their contributions to the problems and the possibility for change. This approach provides a tangible and understandable way for clients to engage with their interaction patterns, supporting them in making informed decisions about their relationship's future.

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