Don't try couples therapy when there is an active affair – do this instead!

In this brief video, you’ll learn about avoiding mistakes trying couples therapy when a couple has an active affair and exactly what to do instead!

You get an email from a spouse freaking out, upset, asking about couples therapy because they uncovered an active affair going on. To add insult to injury, their cheating spouse is also mentioning divorce.

This tailspin scenario with a spouse leaning out of their marriage while cheating with someone else is NOT a good context for couples therapy.

If you’ve tried, you know how it often goes down…

  • the cheated-on spouse lays out their vulnerable (and hard) feelings in the hopes of saving the marriage, while demanding that the affair must end
  • the affairing spouse opens up about the feelings that led to the affair and expresses uncertainty about staying in this marriage—double daggers in the heart of the cheated-on spouse
  • you clinically try to soothe the cheated on while trying to pry a decision out of the cheating spouse about whether they want to end the affair or work on the marriage