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Distracting Individual Issues (to the Discernment Counselor)

DC 2025 Distracting Individual Issues (to the Discernment Counselor)

Key Points:

Identifying Mental Health Disorders:

Recognize when one partner has an obvious mental health disorder, such as generalized anxiety disorder, major depression, or substance abuse issues.
These disorders can significantly impact the relationship and discernment counseling process.

Avoiding Overfocus on the Disorder:

Do not let the mental health disorder occupy center stage and distract from the relational context.
Focus on the interpersonal aspects of the disorder and how it affects the relationship, rather than the disorder itself.

Empathy and Relational Context:

Do not let the mental health disorder occupy center stage and distract from the relational context.
Focus on the interpersonal aspects of the disorder and how it affects the relationship, rather than the disorder itself.

Interpersonal Aspects:

Consider the relational dynamics and each partner's contributions to the problems, not just the disorder.
Avoid viewing the non-disordered partner as a long-suffering victim.

Complexity of Relationship Issues:

Recognize that the relationship issues are complex and involve interactions and contributions from both partners.
Example: The partner with the disorder may not be stepping up in treatment, while the other partner may be over-responsible or in a parental mode.

Avoiding Distraction:

Do not get distracted by the mental health disorder to the point where it overwhelms the discernment counseling process.
Maintain focus on the relational issues and each partner's contributions to the problems.

Individual and Relational Plans:

If more work is needed on the disorder, include it in the individual and personal agenda for change.
Ensure that the partner with the disorder is healthy enough to be a healthy partner, but keep the focus on relational issues during discernment counseling.

Conclusion:

When one partner has a mental health disorder, it is crucial to avoid getting distracted by the disorder and maintain focus on the relational context and each partner's contributions to the problems. By showing empathy, exploring interpersonal aspects, and recognizing the complexity of relationship issues, you can effectively manage discernment counseling and help the couple discern a direction for their marriage.

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