Mini Lesson About Research on Divorce Ideation

Divorce ideation is a recent research topic that excites researchers. There had been plenty of studies of why people decided to divorce but they were retrospective studies asking people about their thoughts and feelings as they made a past decision to divorce.

The problem with those retrospective studies is “historical revisionism”—misremembering or reconstructing the past based on how they feel now. It’s inevitable. Imagine asking an 85-year-old grandmother about her childbirth experiences. You will get real stories and feelings, but they are not likely to be a close match to a diary she may have written right after giving birth.

So why do we think you should care about current divorce ideation research?

Reason One:

This new divorce ideation research relates more directly to what you’ll be learning in discernment counseling because married people were asked about their current thoughts and feelings about divorcing or staying married. They were not looking back.

Reason Two:

Because married people were followed over time, you can see how changeable attitudes to divorce can be. People can feel strongly that they should divorce, and a year later they may be happily married. Sometimes, they feel wildly different week by week.

Reason Three:

Discernment counseling is specifically designed to help with divorce decision making, with the added benefit of including the other spouse who usually wants to preserve the marriage. Many couples go to traditional couples therapy and don’t succeed because what the therapist offers is not tailored to the special situation.

If you want to dive in more to divorce ideation research, you can watch a presentation given by Steve Harris, of the University of Minnesota Couples on the Brink project.