Welcome to the very first lesson of Discernment Counseling! Please watch the video. The text below is a summary.
Goals of Discernment Counseling:
Help couples gain clarity and confidence about the direction of their marriage, based on a deeper understanding of what's happened to their marriage and each person's contributions to the problems.
Importance of Memorization:
Memorize the definition of the goals and be prepared to recite it throughout the sessions.
Three Paths:
Focus on three paths: maintaining the status quo, separation or divorce, or a six-month commitment to couples therapy with divorce off the table.
Structure of Discernment Counseling:
Time-limited, typically 1 to 5 sessions, with a commitment to one session at a time.
Counseling Approach:
Counselor will usually talk to one person at a time, with reports and summaries shared with the other partner.
Divorce is Not a Failure:
Bill Doherty stresses that divorce is not a failure, and that the only failure is if nobody learns anything from the counseling process.
Ultimate Decision:
The decision is ultimately up to the couple, not the counselor.
Takeaways:
Help couples gain clarity and confidence about their marriage direction.
Focus on understanding the marriage problems and individual contributions.
Explore the three paths and their implications.
Use a time-limited, flexible approach to counseling.
Emphasize that divorce is not a failure, and that learning is the key goal.