Session Three Skill 7 LO How to Deepen the LO’s Sense of Personal Responsibility

DC 2025 Session Three Skill 7 LO How to Deepen the LO’s Sense of Personal Responsibility

Even after the leaning-out partner has made a decision, it’s essential to help them reflect on their contributions to the relationship problems. This reflection can provide valuable insights for future relationships and personal growth.

Key Points:

Clarity and Confidence:

The goal of discernment counseling is to help clients gain clarity and confidence about their direction, based on a deeper understanding of the relationship and each person's contributions to the problems.

Post-Decision Reflection:

After the leaning-out partner has chosen a path (e.g., divorce), they may be more open to exploring their own contributions to the relationship issues.
This openness can be attributed to a sense of relief from the decision-making burden.

Self-Awareness:

Encourage the leaning-out partner to reflect on their strengths, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities.
Help them identify patterns in their behavior that may have contributed to the relationship problems.

Future Relationships:

Emphasize that understanding one's contributions to past relationship issues can be crucial for future relationships.
Encourage the leaning-out partner to consider how their self-presentation and expectations may impact future partnerships.

Porcupine Analogy:

Use metaphors like the "porcupine" to illustrate how the leaning-out partner's self-reliance and independence may make it difficult for them to receive comfort and support.
Help them see how this behavior may have affected their current and future relationships.

Vulnerabilities and Expectations:

Discuss the leaning-out partner's vulnerabilities and how they may have been disappointed in the past.
Explore how their high expectations and self-presentation may have contributed to the relationship issues.

Conclusion:

Helping the leaning-out partner reflect on their contributions to the relationship problems, even after they have made a decision, is crucial for their personal growth and future relationships. By encouraging self-awareness and using metaphors like the "porcupine," therapists can help clients gain valuable insights into their behavior and expectations.

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