Session Three Skill 10 LO How to Help Prepare the Personal Agenda for Change

DC 2025 Session Three Skill 10 LO How to Help Prepare the Personal Agenda for Change

By the end of discernment counseling, both the leaning-out and leaning-in partners have agreed to path three (couples therapy). Preparing the leaning-ou partner for personal change involves helping them identify and articulate their personal agenda for change, which will benefit their relationship and personal growth.

Key Points:

Similar Preparation:

The preparation for the leaning-out partner is similar to that of the leaning-in partner, as both have agreed to work on the marriage.
The therapist should guide the leaning-out partner in creating a written list of areas they want to work on, based on their introspection and insights gained during counseling.

Introspection and Realization:

The leaning-out partner may initially struggle to identify areas for change but can recall insights from previous sessions.
The therapist can help them remember and articulate these areas, emphasizing the power of this moment in their life and their commitment to improving the relationship.

Personal Agenda for Change:

Encourage the leaning-out partner to focus on areas of personal growth that will make them a better partner, even if the marriage does not work out.
Examples of areas to work on may include improving communication, managing anger, and handling work stress to prevent spillover into the relationship.

Specific Areas of Improvement:

Communication: Help the leaning-out partner identify how they struggle with communicating their feelings and the benefits of improving this skill.
Anger Management: Assist them in recognizing how their responses to anger affect their partner and the relationship, and the importance of managing anger effectively.
Work Stress Management: Guide them in finding techniques to manage work stress and prevent it from spilling over into their home life and relationship.

Benefits of Change:

Emphasize how these changes will benefit the relationship, such as increased transparency, better conflict resolution, and a more supportive partnership.
Highlight that improving these areas will not only help the current relationship but also future relationships and personal well-being.

Written Form and Practice:

Have the leaning-out partner write down their personal agenda for change, making it tangible and concrete.
Encourage them to practice articulating these changes and their benefits, ensuring they are committed and clear on their goals.

Conclusion:

Preparing the leaning-out partner for personal change involves guiding them to identify and articulate their personal agenda for change. By focusing on areas such as communication, anger management, and work stress management, the therapist can help the leaning-out partner commit to personal growth and improvement, benefiting both their current and future relationships. This preparation is crucial for a successful transition to path three and a committed effort to improve the marriage.

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