Ethical Decision Making About Divorce (Limitations of Standard Couples Therapy Models)

DC 2025 Ethical Decision Making About Divorce (Limitations of Standard Couples Therapy Models)

This lesson explores the limitations of major theoretical groupings in couples therapy when addressing ethical decision-making and divorce, particularly focusing on the issue of commitment. Traditional models often overlook the ethical dilemmas that arise when one or both partners are considering ending a lifelong commitment.

Key Points:

Major Theoretical Groupings:

Attachment/Empathy-Based: Focuses on fostering emotional connection and empathy within the relationship.
Attachment/Empathy-Based: Focuses on fostering emotional connection and empathy within the relationship.
Systems Approach: Considers the broader context and dynamics of the relationship, including family and environmental factors.

Ethical Dilemma of Commitment:

The ethical dilemma arises when one partner considers withdrawing a lifelong commitment, which is a central aspect of marriage.
This dilemma is more complex when children and dependencies are involved.

Limitations of Traditional Models:

Traditional couples therapy models often assume that both partners want to make their marriage work, overlooking the ethical considerations of commitment.
These models do not explicitly address the ethical dilemmas that arise when one partner is unsure about staying in the relationship.

Invisibility of Ethicalized Clients:

The concept of ethicalized clients, who grapple with the ethics of their decisions, has been largely invisible in therapy traditions.
Therapists are often not trained to consult with clients about their ethical dilemmas related to divorce.

Rubber Hits the Road:

The ethical assumptions of therapists come into play when one spouse is unsure about staying in the relationship and considering repair.
The ethical assumptions of therapists come into play when one spouse is unsure about staying in the relationship and considering repair.

Mixed Agenda Couples:

In discernment counseling, mixed agenda couples are common, where one partner wants to save the marriage, and the other is considering leaving.
In discernment counseling, mixed agenda couples are common, where one partner wants to save the marriage, and the other is considering leaving.

Lack of Guidance:

Traditional therapy models do not provide explicit guidance on what partners ethically owe each other when facing serious marital distress and the possibility of divorce.
Therapists are often left to rely on their own notions of ethical obligations, which can be idiosyncratic and inconsistent.

Conclusion:

Ethical decision-making and divorce in couples therapy involve navigating the complexities of commitment, which are often overlooked in traditional therapy models. By recognizing the limitations of major theoretical groupings and the need for explicit ethical guidance, counselors can better support couples in discernment counseling, helping them make informed decisions about their relationship's future. For more on relational ethics visit RelationalEthics.org

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