Fourth Session Who to Start with and Why

DC 2025 Fourth Session Who to Start with and Why

Session four in discernment counseling can take different paths depending on the leaning-out partner’s decision-making process. This session is crucial for either confirming a decision or continuing the discernment process to help the leaning-out partner gain clarity and confidence.

Key Points:

Confirming a Preliminary Decision:

If the leaning-out partner has made a preliminary decision (path two or three) in session three, session four is used to confirm this decision.
The leaning-in partner is usually delighted to hear a confirmation of path three (couples therapy).
If path three is confirmed, the session transitions to preparing for couples therapy, including creating personal agendas for change.

Elaborating on the Decision:

Encourage the leaning-out partner to elaborate on why they chose path three, helping them articulate their reasons clearly.
Use this time to begin the transition to couples therapy, ensuring both partners are aligned and prepared for the next steps.

Paralysis and Indecision:

If the leaning-out partner is paralyzed and unable to make a decision between path two (divorce) and path three, session four focuses on continued discernment.
The goal is to help the leaning-out partner gain clarity and confidence in their decision without pushing them towards divorce.

Opening Path One:

If the leaning-out partner cannot make a decision, consider opening the possibility of path one (reconciliation without therapy).
This option should be explored if the leaning-out partner is resistant to the idea of couples therapy but not ready for divorce.

Additional Sessions:

Depending on the leaning-out partner's progress, session four may be the last session, or an additional session may be scheduled to continue the discernment process.
The focus is on helping the leaning-out partner achieve closure about their direction or begin implementing the chosen path.

Conclusion:

Session four in discernment counseling is a pivotal session for confirming decisions or continuing the discernment process. By helping the leaning-out partner gain clarity and confidence, therapists can support them in making informed decisions about their relationship's future. This session may involve transitioning to couples therapy, exploring path one, or scheduling additional sessions to facilitate the discernment process.

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