Managing Separate Communications Between Sessions

DC 2025 Managing Separate Communications Between Sessions

This lesson discusses how to manage separate communications from one or both partners in between discernment counseling sessions. The therapist outlines norms and exceptions for handling these communications, emphasizing the importance of maintaining the intensity and focus of the sessions.

Key Points:

Norms for Handling Communications:

Fold into Next Session: Ask partners to save important communications for the next session, avoiding back-and-forth interactions outside of sessions.
Avoid Separate Communications: Encourage partners to hold off on separate communications, as they can drain the intensity and focus of the sessions.

Exceptions for Moral Support:

Desperate or Hopeless Feelings: If a partner is feeling desperate, hopeless, or confused, provide moral support, reiterating what was discussed in sessions and encouraging them to stay the course until the next session.
Leaning In Example: If the leaning-in partner has struggled with pursuing, reassure them that setbacks happen and encourage them to return to their previous approach.
Leaning Out Example: If the leaning-out partner is feeling hopeless, acknowledge their efforts and encourage them to return for the next session to discuss their feelings.

Handling Triangulation:

Avoid Holding Secrets: Do not keep secrets or triangulate information from one partner to the other. If a partner shares information that they want to keep secret, inform both partners at the beginning of the next session that a communication occurred.
Transparency: Mention the communication at the start of the session, stating that important information was shared that needs to be folded into the conversation.

Policy Summary:

Encourage Session Focus: Discourage separate communications outside of sessions to maintain the intensity and focus of the counseling process.
Provide Moral Support: Offer moral support when partners are experiencing crises of confidence, reinforcing session discussions and encouraging their return to counseling.
Transparency in Triangulation: Address triangulation openly, informing both partners about any relevant communications that occurred between sessions.

Conclusion:

Managing separate communications between discernment counseling sessions involves encouraging partners to fold important communications into the next session, providing moral support when needed, and maintaining transparency to avoid triangulation. By adhering to these norms and exceptions, therapists can support partners in staying focused and engaged in the counseling process, fostering a productive and intense session environment.

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