Path One When Already Separated

In discernment counseling, some couples come in already separated and may ultimately choose path one, which involves maintaining the status quo of the relationship. This path is a viable option for couples who are managing separation well and find divorce unattractive for various reasons.

Key Points:

Definition of Path One for Separated Couples:

  • Path one for separated couples means choosing to remain separated without pursuing divorce or couples therapy while separated.
  • This path is not a contradiction but rather a continuation of their current relationship status.

Viability of Path One:

  • Path one can be a viable option for couples who are doing okay while separated, managing co-parenting and other aspects of their lives.
  • Reasons for choosing path one may include financial, moral, or spiritual considerations that make divorce unattractive.

Relief and Acceptance:

  • Both the leaning-out and leaning-in partners may experience relief in choosing path one, as it avoids the pressure of making a lifetime decision about divorce or committing to the extensive work and energy required for couples therapy.
  • The leaning-in partner may prefer to get back together, but the status quo of separation is acceptable and manageable.

Success of Discernment Counseling:

  • Choosing path one is not a failure of discernment counseling. Instead, it represents a thoughtful decision made by the couple after gaining insights and understanding from the counseling process.
  • The success of discernment counseling is measured by whether the couple has learned something and made an informed choice, regardless of the path they select.

Negotiating Path One:

  • If the couple chooses path one, the therapist can help them negotiate the terms of their separation, ensuring that both partners are comfortable and clear about the agreement.
  • This may include discussions about co-parenting, financial arrangements, and other practical aspects of their separation.

Conclusion:

Path one is a valuable option for separated couples in discernment counseling who are managing their separation well and find divorce unattractive. By choosing path one, couples can maintain the status quo of their relationship while avoiding the pressure of immediate divorce or therapy. This path provides a viable alternative that respects the couple's autonomy and allows them to make informed decisions about their relationship's future.