The Ethical Dimensions of Path Three Decisions

DC 2025 The Ethical Dimensions of Path Three Decisions

This lesson delves into Bill Doherty’s ethical stance on path three (couples therapy) in discernment counseling, emphasizing the values at stake and the therapist’s role in supporting couples’ original commitments while honoring their autonomy.

DC Handout - Complete Guide to Path Three

Key Points:

Values at Stake:

Ethical Value of Commitment: Preserving a commitment made freely by both partners to be lifelong partners.
Honoring Autonomy: Respecting each partner's autonomy and right to make their own decisions about therapy and staying together.
Balancing Values: The therapist must balance the ethical value of commitment with the partners' autonomy, challenging them to explore path three while respecting their decisions.

Leaning In Partner's Role:

Showing Up: The leaning-in partner's engagement and willingness to work on the relationship affect the therapist's approach to the leaning out partner.
Revelations and Contributions: When the leaning-in partner has revelations and takes responsibility for their contributions, it adds weight to the therapist's encouragement for the leaning out partner to try path three.
Victimized Stance: If the leaning-in partner remains stuck in a victimized or higher moral ground stance, the therapist is less likely to challenge the leaning-out partner to try path three, as they may not have a supportive partner for the process.

Leaning Out Partner's Perspective:

Trusting Revelations: The leaning-out partner may struggle to trust the leaning-in partner's new revelations and openness, especially if there has been a history of failed therapy or unfulfilled promises.
Ethical Weight of Epiphanies: The therapist honors the leaning-out partner's skepticism while leveraging their own sense of the leaning in partner's credibility and genuine openness to change.

Therapist's Stance:

Supporting Commitment: The therapist leans towards supporting couples in trying to fulfill their original commitment, challenging certainties about the partner's inability to change.
Avoiding Coercion: The therapist avoids coercion or guilt-tripping, focusing on helping partners make decisions based on their own goals, energies, and what they want to do, rather than what the other person can or cannot do.
Nuanced Approach: The therapist uses a nuanced approach, pushing gently and holding partners accountable for exploring path three while respecting their autonomy and decisions.

Energy and Interest:

Assessing Energy: The therapist considers whether both partners have the energy and interest to engage in path three, as dragging someone into the process is not beneficial.
Honoring Decisions: If the leaning-out partner ultimately decides not to try path three, the therapist honors their decision, ensuring they have learned and have a plan to navigate the divorce phase if necessary.

Conclusion:

Bill Doherty's ethical leaning for path three in discernment counseling involves supporting couples in exploring their original commitments while honoring their autonomy. By balancing the ethical value of commitment with the partners' autonomy, the therapist challenges them to consider path three, using a nuanced and supportive approach that respects their decisions and energies.

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