The Non-Married Couple Eligibility Question for Discernment Counseling

DC 2025 The Non-Married Couple Eligibility Question for Discernment Counseling

We have the screening guide here for the public to self-assess whether this is the right service for them. Feel free to go through various answers to see how we respond. You are free to repurpose this screening guide.

Purpose of the Lesson:

Develop a screening guide and assessment tool for discernment counseling.
Address the unique challenges of working with non-married couples.
Explore the ethical and practical considerations of applying the discernment counseling protocol to different relationship dynamics.

Core Principles of Discernment Counseling:

Discernment counseling is designed for couples who have made a lifelong commitment and are ambivalent about their relationship and therapy.
The protocol focuses on helping couples decide whether to commit to couples therapy or separate.
The ethical value of honoring a prior commitment is central to the protocol.

Challenges with Non-Married Couples:

Non-married couples may not have the same level of ethical pressure or leverage to work on their relationship.
The absence of a clear, lifelong commitment can make it difficult to challenge the leaning out partner and motivate the leaning in partner.
The outcome of successful couples therapy may be unclear in terms of commitment.

Screening for Commitment:

Legally married couples can generally be assumed to have made a lifelong commitment.
Non-married couples require additional markers of appropriateness, such as:
Both partners seeing the relationship as permanent.
Articulating reasons for not getting married despite seeing the relationship as lifelong.
Having children together or presenting as a committed couple to extended family and friends.
Surprise or shock at being on the brink of separation.

Adapting the Protocol:

Counselors should use their clinical judgment to determine if the discernment counseling protocol is appropriate for non-married couples.
Elements of the protocol can be useful for other couples, but the protocol should not be applied indiscriminately.
The name "discernment counseling" should be reserved for couples who fit the original protocol's criteria.

Public-Facing Assessment Tool:

The goal is to create a tool that counselors can use to screen potential clients and direct them to the appropriate services.
The tool will help counselors and the public understand the scope and limitations of discernment counseling.

Conclusion:

This lesson provides valuable insights into the complexities of adapting discernment counseling for non-married couples. By developing a robust screening guide and assessment tool, counselors can better determine the suitability of the protocol for different relationship dynamics. The ethical and practical considerations discussed in this lesson are crucial for maintaining the integrity of the discernment counseling protocol and ensuring that couples receive the most appropriate help.

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