Session One Skill 9 LO How to Help the LO Prepare the Sharing with the Spouse

DC 2025 Session One Skill 9 LO How to Help the LO Prepare the Sharing with the Spouse

At the end of the first session, preparing the leaning-out partner for their sharing involves helping them articulate what they’ve taken from the conversation in a way that is safe and constructive. This process can be challenging, as leaning-out partners may be guarded or struggle to express their thoughts.

Key Points:

Setting the Stage:

Begin by acknowledging the leaning-out partner's desire for another session, as this indicates their willingness to continue the discernment process.
Ask them what else they have in mind to share, encouraging them to reflect on the conversation and their feelings.

Guiding the Sharing:

If the leaning-out partner struggles to express their thoughts, provide guidance on what they might say, ensuring it is safe and constructive.
Encourage them to focus on their reflections and insights from the conversation, avoiding the introduction of new topics or issues.

Managing Optimism:

Be mindful of the leaning-out partner's optimism or overpromising, as this can lead to premature decisions about path three (couples therapy).
Help them slow down and avoid jumping into path three too quickly, emphasizing that discernment counseling is a process to be played out over time.

Avoiding Premature Decisions:

Encourage the leaning-out partner to avoid making premature divorce or therapy decisions, emphasizing the importance of the discernment process.
Help them understand that the goal is to gain clarity and confidence in their decision, not to rush into a specific path.

Reflecting on Insights:

Guide the leaning-out partner to reflect on the insights they've gained about their own contributions and the potential for therapy to be helpful in the future.
Encourage them to express their desire to learn more about themselves and their spouse, focusing on the "why" behind their feelings and experiences.

Example of Effective Sharing:

In the provided clip, the leaning-out partner effectively shares her reflections on communication issues and her desire to learn more about herself and her spouse.
The discernment counselor helps her slow down and avoid overpromising, emphasizing the importance of the discernment process.

Conclusion:

Preparing the leaning-out partner for sharing at the end of the first session involves setting the stage, guiding their sharing, managing optimism, avoiding premature decisions, and reflecting on insights. By helping the leaning-out partner articulate their thoughts in a safe and constructive way, discernment counselors can support them in gaining clarity and confidence in their decision, fostering a more productive discernment process.

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