Session One Skill 8 LI Preparing the LI for the Sharing with the LO

DC 2025 Session One Skill 8 LI Preparing the LI for the Sharing with the LO

In discernment counseling, the leaning-in partner’s summary after individual sessions is crucial for communicating new awarenesses and intentions to the leaning-out partner. This summary helps the leaning-out partner see that the leaning-in partner is gaining insights and is committed to working on changes.

Key Points:

Role-Taking the Leaning-out Partner:

Always consider how the leaning-out partner will receive the summary, avoiding potential turn-offs and focusing on messages that will resonate with them.
Ensure that the summary addresses the leaning-out partner's concerns and experiences, making it relevant and impactful.

Switching to Newer Terms:

If the leaning-in partner has previously discussed certain topics (e.g., self-awareness) with the leaning-out partner, pivot to newer terms or aspects that have not been extensively covered (e.g., distractibility).
Introduce these newer terms carefully, ensuring they are clear and relevant to the leaning-out partner.

Avoiding Repeated Messages:

Help the leaning-in partner avoid repeating messages that have already been discussed, which may not have the desired impact on the leaning-out partner.
Encourage them to focus on new insights and intentions, emphasizing actionable changes rather than just awareness.

Introducing the Conflict Pattern:

If applicable, introduce the conflict pattern as a newer topic, highlighting the leaning-in partner's role in it and the potential for change through therapy.
Ensure that the conflict pattern is discussed in a way that acknowledges both partners' contributions, fostering a sense of shared responsibility.

Preparing the Summary:

Actively help the leaning-in partner formulate their summary, ensuring it includes new awarenesses, intentions, and hopes for change.
Encourage them to express their commitment to working on these changes in therapy, without making specific promises about immediate behavioral changes.

Avoiding Performance Evaluation:

Ensure that the summary does not set up a performance evaluation for the leaning-in partner, as discernment counseling is not a contract for therapy.
Focus on the leaning-in partner's awareness and intentions, rather than their ability to make immediate changes.

Conclusion:

Preparing the leaning-in partner's summary for the leaning-out partner involves role-taking, switching to newer terms, avoiding repeated messages, introducing the conflict pattern, actively preparing the summary, and avoiding performance evaluation. By helping the leaning-in partner formulate a relevant and impactful summary, discernment counselors can support them in communicating their new awarenesses and intentions to the leaning-out partner, fostering hope and a commitment to working on changes.

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