Session Two Skill 9 LO How to Help the LO Prepare the Sharing with the Spouse

DC 2025 Session Two Skill 9 LO How to Help the LO Prepare the Sharing with the Spouse

This lesson focuses on the skill of helping the leaning out partner prepare for sharing their take-homes with the leaning in partner. The leaning out’s sharing is crucial for increasing hope in the leaning in partner and ensuring that both partners feel engaged in the discernment counseling process.

Importance of Leaning Out's Sharing:

Increasing Hope: The leaning-out's sharing becomes more important in subsequent sessions as they gain learning and realizations, which can increase the leaning in's hope.
Vulnerable Work: The leaning-out's willingness to share their take-homes shows that they are also doing vulnerable work, balancing the effort in the discernment process.

Preparing the Leaning Out's Sharing:

Speaking from the Heart: Encourage the leaning-out to speak from their heart about what they have gained from the session, sharing their emotions and realizations.
Encouraging Language: Help the leaning-out craft their sharing in a way that could be encouraging to the leaning in partner, considering how the leaning-in will feel about the disclosure.

Example of Effective Sharing:

Self-Realization: In the example, the leaning-out wife had a significant realization about her tendency to over-caretake and wanted to let go of that behavior.
Adding Hope: The therapist encouraged her to share not only her realization but also how this realization gave her more hope for their relationship, ensuring that the leaning-in partner would feel encouraged rather than threatened.

Practical Steps:

Ask for Take-Homes: Ask the leaning-out what they would like to share with their partner about their take-homes from the session.
Consider Partner's Feelings: Listen for how the other partner might feel about the disclosure and encourage the leaning-out to add language that would be encouraging to the leaning-in partner.
Communicate Hope: Ensure that the leaning-out's sharing includes how their realizations make them more hopeful for the relationship, reinforcing the possibility of positive change.

Conclusion:

Helping the leaning-out prepare for sharing their take-homes involves encouraging them to speak from the heart, consider the leaning-in's feelings, and communicate hope for the relationship. By doing so, the leaning-out's sharing can be powerful and encouraging, increasing hope in the leaning in partner and balancing the vulnerable work in the discernment process.

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