Discernment counseling is like emergency or intensive care work with high-risk couples. Research indicates that DC couples are far more distressed than the couples who participate in outcome studies of couples therapy models.
So, let’s be blunt: divorce is not a failure.
In our view, the only failure is if neither person learned something important about themselves and the relationship, something that could help them in a future relationship if this one ends.
If one person learns something and the other does not, it’s not a failure. Someone’s life may be better for having done DC.
It’s rare for neither partner to learn anything in DC. These failure cases would benefit from your getting consultation to make sure you did all you could do.