Path Three Confirming and Affirming LO Decision

DC 2025 Path Three Confirming and Affirming LO Decision

Helping the leaning-out partner confirm a decision to pursue path three (couples therapy) in discernment counseling involves supporting their growing optimism about therapy and encouraging them to think through their decision carefully. This process typically occurs in the third or fourth session and focuses on affirming their interest while allowing space for potential changes in their decision.

Key Points:

Timing and Optimism:

The leaning-out partner may express interest in path three as early as the second session, but it usually becomes clear by the third or fourth session.
This interest often stems from a growing hope that therapy can help, rather than significant improvements in the marriage itself.

Personal Transformation:

Sometimes, the leaning-in partner undergoes personal changes that positively impact the relationship, making the leaning-out partner more optimistic about therapy.
However, more commonly, the leaning-out partner sees the value in trying therapy before making a definitive decision about the marriage.

Encouraging Reflection:

If the leaning-out partner expresses interest in path three during the session, encourage them to take another week to think it over and confirm their decision.
Affirm their interest without rushing them, maintaining an open space for potential changes in their decision.

Reporting Out:

In the session where the leaning-out partner expresses preliminary interest in path three, have them share this with their spouse.
Emphasize that they are taking another week to think about it, ensuring that both partners are on the same page.

Supporting the Leaning-in Partner:

Work with the leaning-in partner to develop their personal agenda for change, which will make them even more encouraging to their spouse.
This preparation helps the leaning-in partner be more supportive and engaged in the therapeutic process.

Confirming the Decision:

In the next session, ask the leaning-out partner if they have confirmed their decision to pursue path three.
Continue to support and guide them through the process, ensuring they feel comfortable and confident in their decision.

Conclusion:

Helping the leaning-out partner confirm a decision for path three involves affirming their interest in therapy, encouraging reflection, and supporting both partners in preparing for the therapeutic process. By maintaining an open space for potential changes and focusing on personal growth and optimism, therapists can guide couples towards a constructive and hopeful path forward.

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