Theories Behind Discernment Counseling

DC 2025 Theories Behind Discernment Counseling

This video lesson provides an in-depth overview of the Family FIRO (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation) model, developed by Bill Doherty. The model integrates concepts from group dynamics and family therapy to offer a comprehensive approach to understanding and treating couple and family relationships. Doherty discusses the origins, key concepts, and practical applications of the FIRO model, particularly in the context of discernment counseling.

To be very brief about the theories that come together to create discernment counseling, we have:

Systems theory (including a lot of differentiation work, which would hopefully build towards deeper attachment bonds in path 3 couples therapy)
A group theory called the Family FIRO. (The video for this lesson.)
Relational ethics has been Bill’s lifelong passion and you’ll see some of his relational ethics as it relates to DC throughout this course. For even more, visit relationalethics.org

Key Concepts:

Origins and Development:

The FIRO model was adapted from Wil Schutz's work on group dynamics.
Doherty recognized the similarities between families and groups, leading to the adaptation of the FIRO model for family and couple therapy.

Three Core Dimensions:

Inclusion: Relates to bonding and organization within the family or couple. Key categories include structure, connectedness, and shared meaning.
Control: Focuses on influence and power during conflict. Categories include dominating patterns, reactive patterns, and collaborative patterns.
Intimacy: Involves open disclosure and close personal exchanges. Categories include mutual sharing, emotional closeness, and sexual interactions.

Prioritizing Treatment:

The model suggests a priority sequence: inclusion before control, and control before intimacy.
This sequence helps therapists prioritize treatment for multi-problem couples and families.

Application in Discernment Counseling:

Phone Screen: Establishing shared meaning and understanding of discernment counseling.
Repeating Goals: Clarifying the structure and goals of each session.
Individual Focus: Differentiating between individual therapy and discernment counseling.
Lean In and Lean Out: Addressing the needs of spouses with differing levels of commitment.
Session Buy-In: Ensuring each spouse decides to return for the next session.

Practical Applications:

Normalizing Relationship Challenges: Helping couples understand that their issues are common and treatable.
Setting Priorities: Assisting therapists in prioritizing treatment for couples with multiple problems.
Understanding Family Development: Recognizing how changes in family composition affect inclusion, control, and intimacy.
Integrative Approach: Using concepts from different therapy models based on the needs of the couple.

Conclusion:

The Family FIRO model provides a multidimensional way to assess and treat couple and family relationships. By focusing on inclusion, control, and intimacy, therapists can prioritize treatment, normalize relationship challenges, and help couples understand their dynamics better. This model is particularly useful in discernment counseling, where couples may have differing levels of commitment to the relationship.

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