Third Session Addressing Hesitation Based On Past Couples Therapy

DC 2025 Third Session Addressing Hesitation Based On Past Couples Therapy

In session three of discernment counseling, when the leaning-out partner has engaged in the learning process but is hesitant about couples therapy due to past unsuccessful attempts, it is crucial to address their concerns and emphasize the differences in their current situation. This approach helps them see the potential for successful couples therapy moving forward.

Key Points:

Past Therapy Discussion:

Begin discussing the limitations of past couples therapy in session one by exploring the repair narrative and prior therapy experiences.
Identify why previous therapy attempts may have been limited, such as brief duration, lack of engagement, or narrow focus (e.g., an affair).

Current Readiness:

Emphasize that the leaning-out partner is now in a different place, approaching couples therapy with more urgency and readiness.
Highlight that both partners have been looking at their own contributions and have developed personal agendas for change, which were not prerequisites in their past therapy experiences.

Discernment Counseling Experience:

Ask if the leaning-out partner has experienced anything different in discernment counseling compared to their past therapy.
Point out that they may be gaining insights more quickly and deeply through discernment counseling, providing a different therapeutic experience.

Couples Therapy Approach:

By session three, clarify whether you will be the couples therapist or if you will refer them to another professional.
If you will be the couples therapist, discuss how you would work with them differently based on their current understanding and readiness.

Building Hope:

Emphasize the urgency and readiness that come from being on the brink of divorce, which can motivate both partners to engage more fully in couples therapy.
Highlight that they will enter couples therapy with more understanding and preparedness than in the past.

Conclusion:

In session three, addressing the leaning-out partner's concerns about past couples therapy involves emphasizing their current readiness, the differences in their therapeutic experience, and the potential for successful couples therapy moving forward. By discussing the limitations of past therapy, highlighting their newfound insights, and clarifying your approach as a couples therapist, you can build hope and motivation for engaging in couples therapy.

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