This lesson delves into Bill Doherty’s principles for deciding what to share from one partner to the other in discernment counseling. It emphasizes the importance of intentionality, permission, and the discernment process’s goals.
Key Points:
Philosophy on Sharing Information:
Categories of Sharing:
Impressions: Share impressions about the partner's engagement and seriousness in the process, especially for the leaning out partner who may be skeptical.
Publicly Shared Information: Refer to information shared in the presence of both partners, such as during check-ins or report-outs.
Critical Incidents: Share critical incidents or issues that have not yet come out, with permission from the partner who disclosed them.
Executing the Sharing:
Permission and Intentionality: Always seek permission before sharing specific information disclosed in individual conversations.
Softening the Impact: Ensure that the partner knows the information is being shared with their knowledge and consent, softening the impact.
Intentionality and Goals:
Conclusion:
Sharing information between partners in discernment counseling requires intentionality, permission, and a focus on the process's goals. By sharing impressions, publicly shared information, and critical incidents with care and consent, therapists can support couples in gaining clarity and confidence about their relationship's direction, fostering a deeper understanding of their dynamics and potential pathways.