Second Session How to Start

DC 2025 Second Session How to Start

Second sessions in discernment counseling follows a disciplined formula to ensure consistency and clarity. This formula helps set the stage for productive conversations and maintains the focus on the goals of discernment counseling.

Key Points:

Session Structure Reminder:

Begin by reminding the couple of the session number and the goals of discernment counseling, which are to gain more clarity and confidence about a direction for their relationship based on a deeper understanding of what happened to their marriage and each person's contributions to the problems.
Explain the structure of the session, which includes a check-in question, individual conversations, and a brief wrap-up together.

Check-In Question:

Use a carefully worded check-in question to assess where each partner is in their journey towards clarity and confidence.
The check-in question should be repeated at least once to ensure that both partners have taken it in: "Where are you each today in your journey towards clarity and confidence about a direction for your relationship?"

Avoiding Premature Decisions:

Avoid questions that imply the leaning-out partner should have already made a decision about discernment or that are too close to therapy questions.
Focus on the goals of discernment counseling and the process of gaining a deeper understanding of the marriage.

Consistency in Language:

Use the same wording for the goals and check-in question each time to maintain consistency and clarity.
Repeat the key elements of the check-in question before asking partners to start, ensuring they have understood and taken it in.

Session Flow:

After the check-in, proceed with individual conversations, starting with one partner and then the other.
Finish the session with a brief wrap-up together, ensuring both partners have had the opportunity to share and reflect.

Conclusion:

Beginning sessions in discernment counseling involves a disciplined formula that includes reminding the couple of the session number and goals, using a carefully worded check-in question, avoiding premature decisions, maintaining consistency in language, and following a structured session flow. By adhering to this formula, discernment counselors can ensure productive conversations and a focused discernment process.

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