Third Session Goals with LI

DC 2025 Third Session Goals with LI

Session three in discernment counseling is a crucial session for the leaning-in partner, focusing on their understanding of relationship patterns, their contributions to the problems, and their preparation for potential outcomes. This session aims to ensure that the leaning-in partner is making progress and is ready to formulate their personal agenda for change.

Key Points:

Understanding Contributions and Patterns:

Ensure that the leaning-in partner recognizes their own contributions to the relationship problems and sees the interaction patterns.
Help them understand their partner's distress, both historically and during the discernment process.

Patience and Persistence:

Encourage the leaning-in partner to show patience with the decision-making process and persistence in their efforts.
Ideally, they should be beginning to formulate their personal agenda for change, focusing on areas they want to improve for both the current and future relationships.

Preparation for Outcomes:

Help the leaning-in partner prepare for the possibility that their spouse may not want to work with them in path three (couples therapy).
Encourage them to recognize that they are gaining valuable insights and understanding about what they need to work on in life, regardless of the outcome.

Addressing Impatience:

If the leaning-in partner is getting impatient with the process, show compassion and acknowledge their suffering from lack of emotional and physical contact.
Encourage them to take a leadership role during this brief period, focusing on their personal growth and formulating their agenda for change.

Avoiding Comparisons:

Help the leaning-in partner avoid comparing themselves to their partner or feeling that the process is unfair.
Encourage them to focus on their own growth and the need to formulate their personal agenda for change.

Conclusion:

The goals for the leaning-in partner in session three involve ensuring they understand their contributions and the relationship patterns, showing patience and persistence, preparing for potential outcomes, and formulating their personal agenda for change. By addressing impatience and avoiding comparisons, therapists can help the leaning-in partner make progress and be ready for the next steps in the discernment process.

Previous Lesson

Back to Course

Next Lesson