Third Session How to Start

DC 2025 Third Session How to Start

Session three is a pivotal and crucial session in discernment counseling, marking the halfway point in the five-session process. This session focuses on assessing progress, ensuring alignment with the couple’s goals, and evaluating the couple’s understanding and contributions to their relationship problems.

Key Points:

Session Opening:

Begin session three by reminding the couple of the goals: clarity and confidence about a direction for their relationship based on a deeper understanding of what happened to their relationship and each person's contributions to the problems.
Initiate a check-in by asking each partner where they are in their journey towards clarity and confidence in a direction.

Assessing Progress:

Evaluate whether the leaning-out partner has shown movement towards a decision or if they are stuck.
Assess if the leaning-in partner is still fully committed to the process and if they are using the language of path three, indicating their absorption of the discernment process.

Ensuring Alignment:

Ensure that the leaning-out partner is engaged in genuine discernment, expanding their narrative of the relationship, learning about themselves, and recognizing their own contributions to the problems.
Verify that the leaning-out partner is not stuck in magical thinking about divorce and is open to exploring their contributions to the interaction patterns.

Leaning-in Partner's Focus:

Confirm that the leaning-in partner is focused on understanding their own contributions to the pain of the other partner and recognizing the interaction patterns.
Ensure that the leaning-in partner is fully on board with learning about what happened to the marriage and each person's contributions to the problems.

Pivotal Nature of Session Three:

Session three is pivotal because it marks the halfway point in the discernment counseling process.
The session is crucial for ensuring that both partners are in sync with the goals and are making progress towards clarity and confidence in their decision.

Conclusion:

Session three in discernment counseling is a crucial and pivotal session that focuses on assessing progress, ensuring alignment with the couple's goals, and evaluating their understanding and contributions to their relationship problems. By initiating a check-in, assessing progress, and ensuring that both partners are engaged in the discernment process, therapists can help couples move towards clarity and confidence in their decision about the future of their relationship.

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