DC 2025

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Third Session Personal Agenda Formation

 5 minutes
DC 2025 Third Session Personal Agenda Formation

Formulating personal agendas for change in session three involves helping both partners identify areas they would work on if they choose path three (couples therapy). This process should emerge organically from their understanding of interaction patterns and personal contributions to the problems.

Key Points:

Leaning-in Partner:

  • If the leaning-in partner is fully on board with path three, they will naturally bring up their contributions to the interaction patterns and problems.
  • Help them frame these contributions as areas they would work on in therapy, exploring what underlies their behaviors, such as anxiety or other emotional factors.

Leaning-out Partner:

  • Be more cautious with the leaning-out partner, focusing on helping them see their contributions to the interaction patterns without jumping ahead to personal agendas for change.
  • If the leaning-out partner expresses awareness of their contributions, leverage this awareness to introduce potential areas for change in path three.

Organic Emergence:

  • Personal agendas for change should emerge organically from the couple's deeper understanding of their interaction patterns and contributions.
  • Do not rush this process in session one; instead, allow it to develop naturally as the couple gains insight into their relationship dynamics.

Timing:

  • By session three, if the leaning-out partner is heading towards path three or seriously entertaining it, help them look at potential personal agendas for change.
  • The leaning-in partner should also be crystallizing their personal agenda for change, based on the discussions and insights gained throughout the counseling process.

Avoiding Premature Formulation:

  • Do not wait until the last sessions (4 or 5) to introduce personal agendas for change. Instead, allow the conversation to emerge organically throughout the counseling process.
  • By session three, the couple should have a clear understanding of what they might work on in therapy, based on their discussions and insights.

Conclusion:

Formulating personal agendas for change in session three involves helping both partners identify areas they would work on in couples therapy, based on their understanding of interaction patterns and personal contributions. This process should emerge organically and not be rushed or introduced too late in the counseling process. By session three, both partners should have a clear idea of their potential personal agendas for change, setting the stage for successful couples therapy if they choose path three.

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