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Demo of First Session with Leaning Out

DC 2025 Demo of First Session with Leaning Out

Objective:

To explore the emotional and relational dynamics of the “leaning out” partner, focusing on her past experiences, current feelings, and contributions to the relationship issues.

Key Points:

Past Experiences and Current Feelings:

The leaning-out partner, Celine, expresses difficulty believing her husband's promises of change due to past experiences where he did not follow through.
She feels that the relationship is on the brink and struggles with the burden of deciding whether to continue or not.
Celine shares her feelings of loneliness, invalidation, and demoralization, highlighting the emotional toll of the relationship.

Contributions to the Problems:

Bill encourages Celine to reflect on her own contributions to the relationship issues, acknowledging that every relationship involves two people.
Celine discusses her past efforts to please her husband and her eventual realization that the relationship was imbalanced. She also mentions her current feelings of numbness and lack of empathy towards her husband.

Relationship Dynamics:

Bill highlights the challenges of transitioning from an imbalanced relationship to a more balanced one, especially without couple therapy support.
Celine shares a powerful story about a difficult period early in their relationship, illustrating the lack of alignment and communication between them.

Impact of Withdrawal:

Celine describes her strategy of withdrawing and becoming emotionally numb as a way to avoid conflict, but acknowledges that this has led to further disconnection and powerlessness in the relationship.
Bill validates Celine's experiences and helps her see the unintended consequences of her actions, such as her husband's fear and distress.

Path Forward:

Bill suggests that Celine consider how her unintentional contributions to the distance in the relationship might be addressed, both for her current relationship and future ones.
Celine agrees to think about this and to continue with another session of discernment counseling.

Transition Back to Couple's Time:

Celine shares her insights with her husband, acknowledging her role in the relationship issues and expressing her willingness to continue with the discernment process.

Outcomes:

Celine gains a deeper understanding of her own contributions to the relationship issues and the unintended consequences of her actions.
Bill validates Celine's experiences and helps her see the potential for growth and change in her current relationship.
The session highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing emotional disconnects, fostering a more empathetic and constructive dialogue between partners.

Follow-Up:

Celine will continue to reflect on her contributions to the relationship issues and consider how she might address them.
The couple will continue with another session of discernment counseling, focusing on further exploration of their individual and shared dynamics.

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