The original insight of Discernment Counseling is that spouses can be in totally separate emotional places and that therapists can help both with their divergent needs. It’s all open and both spouses know what’s going on, so there is no secrets or battles about the goals both have. The discernment counselor is helping one spouse decide whether to leave or work on the marriage, and is helping the other spouse try to save the marriage. They both know what’s going on with the other person’s conversations with the therapist, and they are okay with it!