Sometimes one or both individuals in a marriage on the brink really can't take a look in the mirror at anything they've done. The upside to Discernment Counseling is you neither have to doom their marriage nor pursue couples therapy with them. Take some time to watch this video and learn more.

Discernment Counseling can be a transformative tool for couples on the brink of divorce, but it's crucial to understand the rule outs for its effectiveness. Bill Dougherty, co-founder of the Dougherty Relationship Institute, sheds light on why Discernment Counseling may not be suitable for every situation.

Relationship Counseling

In the realm of relationship counseling, Discernment Counseling stands out as a vital intervention for couples teetering on the edge of divorce. Spearheading this discussion is Bill Dougherty, co-founder of the esteemed Dougherty Relationship Institute. In his insightful discourse, Dougherty delves into the critical aspect of rule outs within Discernment Counseling, shedding light on why this approach might not be suitable for all couples.

Discernment Counseling

As Dougherty elucidates, operates akin to emergency room work, aimed at couples grappling with the weighty decision of whether to salvage their marriage or part ways. However, despite its transformative potential, Discernment Counseling isn't a one-size-fits-all solution. Dougherty emphasizes the importance of discerning when to rule out certain cases from this intervention.

Rule out 1:

One primary rule out scenario, as Dougherty outlines, involves cases where the leaning-out partner has unequivocally made up their mind about divorce, lacking any semblance of ambivalence. In such instances, where one partner is resolutely committed to ending the relationship, Discernment Counseling may prove futile. Dougherty underscores the injustice of subjecting the leaning-in partner to a process that falsely raises hopes of reconciliation when the decision has essentially been made.

Rule out 2:

Moreover, Dougherty highlights another pivotal rule out criterion: cases where the leaning-out partner harbors uncertainties about the marriage but remains open to reconciliation efforts. In such scenarios, where there's a genuine willingness to engage in couples therapy and explore avenues for reconciliation, Discernment Counseling might not be the most appropriate starting point. Instead, Dougherty suggests initiating couples therapy directly, capitalizing on the leaning-out partner's willingness to give the relationship another chance.


It's evident from Dougherty's insights that Discernment Counseling isn't a universally applicable remedy. Rather, it's a selectively powerful tool tailored to specific circumstances.

 In conclusion, Dougherty's elucidation of rule outs in Discernment Counseling provides valuable insights for therapists and couples alike. By understanding the nuances of when to employ this intervention, practitioners can better support couples in navigating the complexities of their relationships, fostering informed decisions and meaningful transformations.