What do we do when someone leaning out of their marriage is also the one having the affair, or abusing substances? What do we do when someone leaning out of their marriage is also the one having the affair, or abusing substances? Learn more about how Discernment Counseling can help you handle the situation by watching this video.

Navigating Challenges in Discernment Counseling: Understanding Leaning Out Spouse Variations

In Discernment Counseling, where couples grapple with the decision of whether to pursue divorce or reconciliation, the dynamics often revolve around the concept of leaning in and leaning out spouses. Typically, we perceive the leaning-out spouse as the one who is dissatisfied with the relationship, while the leaning-in spouse is eager to salvage it. However, variations to this scenario exist that require delicate navigation, as highlighted in a recent discussion by Bill Doherty, co-founder of the Doherty Relationship Institute.

Double Challenges of the Leaning Out Spouse

Doherty sheds light on a scenario where the leaning-out spouse is grappling with personal turmoil, such as infidelity, midlife crises, financial irresponsibility, or addiction. In such cases, the leaning-out spouse may not fully acknowledge their dysfunctional behavior, complicating the Discernment Counseling process. This double challenge demands a nuanced approach from therapists to foster constructive dialogue and decision-making.

Expressing Concern without Confrontation

One crucial tip Doherty offers is to express genuine concern for the leaning-out spouse without adopting a confrontational stance. Instead of directly confronting their actions, therapists should encourage self-reflection amidst the chaos of personal upheaval. By empathetically guiding them to consider the implications of impulsive decisions, such as rushing into divorce during a crisis, therapists can facilitate a more thoughtful contemplation process.

Encouraging Self-Reflection Amidst Turmoil

The essence of Discernment Counseling lies in fostering introspection and clarity amidst emotional turbulence. Rather than exacerbating tensions with accusatory remarks, therapists play a pivotal role in guiding both partners toward a deeper understanding of their individual contributions to the relationship dynamics. This approach promotes accountability and paves the way for informed decision-making.

Conclusion: Nurturing Deliberate Decision-Making

In the intricate landscape of Discernment Counseling, therapists navigate complex emotional terrains to guide couples toward informed choices regarding the future of their relationship. By acknowledging and addressing variations in leaning out spouse dynamics with empathy and insight, therapists uphold the essence of discernment, fostering a space where couples can embark on a journey of self-discovery and relational clarity.