Why has the couples therapy field ignored up to 30% of couples in our research? The answer is practical but also shows the gap that Bill Doherty filled with Discernment Counseling.

The Overlooked Couple: Understanding Mixed Agenda Dynamics

Certain dynamics often go unnoticed in couples therapy, leaving couples stranded on the brink of uncertainty. Bill Doherty, co-founder of the Doherty Relationship Institute and Developer of Discernment Counseling, sheds light on this overlooked demographic—the mixed agenda couple.

Identifying the Mixed Agenda:

Doherty introduces us to a common yet disregarded scenario in couples therapy: one partner leaning out, contemplating divorce, while the other leans in, eager to salvage the relationship. This disparity in agendas characterizes a significant portion of struggling couples, with studies suggesting it could encompass up to 30% of cases.

The Neglected Middle Ground:

Despite the prevalence of mixed agenda couples, traditional couples therapy models have largely overlooked them. Therapy protocols often exclude such couples from studies and research, favoring those committed to either salvaging the relationship or pursuing divorce. This exclusion stems not from malice but from practical research considerations.

The Development of Discernment Counseling:

In response to this glaring gap in therapeutic support, Doherty developed Discernment Counseling. This specialized approach addresses the unique needs and challenges mixed agenda couples face. By acknowledging and validating each partner's perspective, Discernment Counseling offers a path forward, regardless of the eventual decision regarding the relationship.

Bridging the Divide:

Discernment Counseling serves as a bridge for couples navigating the uncertain terrain between reconciliation and divorce. Providing a safe space for exploration and understanding equips couples with the insights and tools necessary to make informed decisions about their future.

Conclusion:

The mixed agenda couple represents a significant demographic within the realm of couples therapy, yet one that has long been overlooked. Through the development of Discernment Counseling, therapists can now effectively address the unique challenges these couples face, guiding them toward clarity and resolution.